Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Mid Life Mid Year Thoughts

To blog or not to blog? The answer for now, obviously, is Yes. As I am not up for FaceBook, this blog will have to serve as my electronic postcard: GREETINGS FROM CABIN IN NOYO RIVER CANYON! From Paris to Ohio to Santa Barbara to cabin - here until Grand Canyon River trip beginning on Labor Day. It's just me + 8 chicks + garden (s) + stack of books + walks + endless chores.

Tomorrow marks my six month anniversary of freedom from 8 to 5 job. Just about one year since I began the decluttering process, giving clothes, jewelery, and handbags to my daughter. Just about ready to do a clothes & stuff inventory.

My newest revelation: How difficult it is for me to settle down and commit - no matter if it is a Person/Place or Thing. (Okay, have always known about squirminess with People). My desire is to wrestle with this "thing" and be able to make this cabin my home for now. When I look back at how much energy, time and money I have frittered away because I was incapable of settling down - ouch! Granted, there are mighty deep scars that caused the running.

What would it be like to say: I am comfortable ENOUGH; I am going to do my best to make this a Home. Of course my mind goes to worst case scenario: what if you do all this work, get attached and then a forest fire rages through destroying it all. The trickster mind can always be quieted - and what if . . . I would do it again.